Radical Self Love

I have some seriously vulnerable things to share with you!!! 
I just survived my worst nightmare and am living to tell you about it…. 
Healing through sharing…here goes. 

I just went on a tropical beach vacation with my favorite people in the world…in my most voluptuous body of my life in a swimsuit. 

That’s it!

I’m embarrassed to say that this to me was an actual nightmare. 

My body was living this as if I were going to die. 
I was not ready for this. 

It was dawning on me that this intense amount of body shame I have had for myself my whole life was a real, living thing. I knew that I was a product of our Western world’s diet body-shame culture. But this felt so over the top here.

Packing and preparing for this trip was completely anxiety-producing – almost debilitating. I was having panic attacks and couldn’t sleep. And I was about to go to paradise and be with my best friends to have the time of our life.

My head could find little logic in any of this.

I am actually a LOVER of people in every way, all shapes and sizes. I massage and touch people every day and adore bodies. I geek out on healing and am fascinated by nearly every single thing about our amazing human experience through this lens. 

I appreciate my clients in all of their ways of being. Always. Never a judgment or harsh thought on any of the thousands of butts and legs and tummies and backs I’ve seen. 

Bodies are beautiful, all shapes, sizes, and versions of any of us and I know that those bodies change. I really love watching people evolve and hold them with so much compassion and love.

So WHAT is happening here? 

Why this stress, lady?!

I am going to my best friend’s wedding. On an island. 

First of all, I’m so grateful and feeling majorly privileged to be able to go. It’s a pandemic, first of all. Super complicated, I haven’t been on a plane in how long?

Plus, I really never imagined this kind of trip for a girl like me. The Bahamas feels like… pretty fancy. It’s a dream! I should be so excited, elated, over the moon.

Yet here I was TRIPPING OUT on how much my body had changed since I’d seen these friends. I used to be this, I used to be that. I used to be an athlete, younger, ready to do some sprints, whatever comes with all those things! Now I have thicker thighs and cellulite in weird places and a lot of extra.

“What will they think?” felt like a real, painful conundrum. How would I feel with my body posted to pictures online? Any picture, swimsuit or not. “Gosh, what will people think of me?!?”

I’m just not digging my body right now, how would they?

Wow.  

I can’t believe I care and I can’t believe the power of these messages. 

I know that what others think is none of my business. 

Yet apparently my Buddhist-natured practices of self-love had never been able to crack this nut of self-shame and loathing. 

The body-positive movement had really not undone any of this fear, panic, self-judgment. 

I love myself. I do. 

I thought I did!

But when put to the tropical island test, I was panicking, dieting, freaking out. 

I saw what was happening and I realized that this was not me living my best life here. This is not me at my core. 

At 45 years old, what I want is to thrive in my body and be unconditionally in love with this amazing life that I’m living, this healthy body with all of its flaws, curves, aches, and age. I want to live this deep knowing that I am actually a being of love energy. I am whole, complete, and lovely just as I am! I am ME! Unconditionally awesome and beautiful ME! 

Other people see me for my beauty, why is this difficult to see myself?

So, I realize that I am so done with this. 

Done with the pain of dieting, fantasies, and not loving who I am, wherever I am, however I am. I am done with the self-shame. 

I am ready to change and learn how to love myself. 

I am decided. 

Yet  I didn’t even know where to start. 

I literally didn’t even know how to start loving myself. 

Me, Katy, who has watched a million teachers’ videos, podcasts, speakers, friends talk and guide on self-love, body appreciation…all the lessons and truth and wisdom that I “know”. 

Yet here I was at the starting line with myself, a total beginner. 

What did I do? I chose a starting point. 

I thought of all the small things that were in my control that I could do in the next month before the trip that helped me to feel beautiful, see my beauty, appreciate my body, my shape, and find my glow. 

I budgeted some self-love energy and bought new earrings, some beautiful dresses. I got a facial and waxed my wiley brows (a once every 4 year event:). I browsed plus-sized swimsuits to appreciate the beauty of all sizes of bodies and ordered and tried on 30 swimsuits that were bangin’ on a curvy body. Gorgeous prints and styles that I knew I’d love to rock, not just my standard black suit. I got a tan against the advice of said esthetician.

I practiced visualizing myself on the beach among my friends, living adventures that were full of pure joy, self-appreciation, and presence. It was incredibly difficult to do at first with the compassion I was longing for. But I practiced over and over, loving me in my clothes, loving myself, my hair, my body, my movements, my strength. I focused on the gratitude I have for my amazing health and rad strong body. 

I have an incredible partner right now who adores me, loves my body as it is, loves me for me. I know this. I practiced hearing this and seeing through those eyes.

I practiced distancing myself from my thoughts about myself and just letting myself BE. Be present. Just BE, girl. Chillllll. 

I worked with my therapist on this in a deep somatic way, what does it feel like to have that love for yourself no matter what, where does that love live in your body? What does it feel like when another loves you unconditionally and can you receive that love and appreciation? When do I feel beautiful and what does that really feel like?

I worked with a coach who helps me to change my thoughts around things like really understanding that our beliefs shape our reality. Time to undo these thoughts that keep me feeling terrible, that keep me small and ashamed in my body. To really expand on those thoughts that help me feel powerful, engaged, present, alive, happy, grateful…. How do I WANT to think and feel about myself and my life? Practice that! 

So… I went on the friggin’ trip! I was overjoyed to be staying in a beach house with not only friends who were family to me but included two of my most gorgeous friends who happen to both be incredibly fit yoginis. I delighted in this gift from the universe, to do this self-love work under these conditions. Ha!

We arrived. I stripped down, put on my suit, and rocked the self-love like a zen badass for a week! Playing, dancing, paddle boarding, jumping off of rock walls in my swimsuit and my curves and all of me all week. I was able to completely let go of my fears, my judgments of self, and just BE. I would hear whispers of the old voices, the shame or shoulds, regrets, and fears about my body and health. It felt like such old news compared to paradise. Like, give me a BREAK, small thinking.

I was able to adjust and just be. I could immerse myself in these moments of the present moment. So much love, so much fun and delight.

All of the work I had done finally took hold, the letting go had finally happened. My starting block self-love steps set me on a path of so much appreciation for my body that I won’t go back. I just refuse to hate this body anymore. I refuse to get that distracted about what’s important to me. I know what really matters. It’s time to love me. It’s time to be 45 right now and just be right where I’m at, who I am right now. Me, beautiful me! 

My loving friends who are like family to me embraced me as I am (of course!!) and I survived (of course!). This trip wasn’t about me or my body after all. It was about my dear friends’ wedding, the love, the friends, our community, these incredible people and connections. Total magic. This was a soul-filling journey of self-love and adventure. It was about connection to my son, our family, our friends and community who are all of my son’s reminders of his dad, my late husband… an immersion into love. None of which had anything to do with my shape or size

Don’t we just live in a total mind-fuck of a culture where you can be dieting your whole life?! I see it clearly and I am done. I’m ON TO YOU, B.S. body-shaming culture. It’s total baloney.

There are so many other peaceful, amazing, expansive ways to approach health, change, and loving ourselves to wellness that I am choosing a different path. I will continue to delight in this journey and share and expand this message of love.

I am sharing all of this now because it is SO COMMON, it is so deep and we are nurtured to hate ourselves. We are conditioned to see our deficits and try to force ourselves to be different, resist the beauty that we have in our differences and imperfections. 

It’s time for me to share this and bare all because I feel like I’m done hiding and feeling any shame around this.

I am sharing this because on the outside, most people would NEVER guess that I have all of this inside of me, they come to me to help them love their bodies! I come across as incredibly high-functioning and well adjusted:) haha. I am but also…. I have, like all of us, this HUMAN HUMAN side. My wounded side, the shadows, the soft parts, the parts that we get to shine a light on.
I am ready and wanted to share my heart and soul because vulnerability is so frigging healing. 

I am on a continuous journey to find my healthiest self, mind, body, and spirit. We meet ourselves, all the parts of us right where they are.

I am committed to loving myself just as I am in each moment.
I look forward to more movement, healthy eating, laughter, play, and so much love. 

Starting with me and my love for myself always. 

Let’s do this, people! Let’s change the way that we think about our bodies together and love on all of our differences. I am new to this, which feels shocking to me, totally exciting, and also scares the shit out of me. I am new to sharing so vulnerably that it feels also paralyzing. I’m scared to offend anyone, to turn anyone off. But I love you, and I’m just going to say F* it and hit send! 

Change is no joke:)   

Love love love love to you all. 

Katy

Get To Know Andrew Bailey, LMT

Andrew is warm, safe, engaging, committed to your health goals; and his massages are AMAZING!! Just supremely relaxing, knows the best depth of pressure, and each session is specifically tailored to your needs. He comes to us with a full and happy clientele with all of the intuitive listening skills and informed presence that you know as Rise Up Massage! I knew Andrew was the one I could trust to send my favorite people to, and I’m SO stoked that you get to bask in his professional talents too.

Get to know him a little better in this conversation between Andrew Bailey and Katy Cañete.

Andrew
Through my experience in the military, I learned to appreciate the little things and the true value of hard work; which was really great and inspiring at such a young age. Showing up for people around me, working together to get the mission accomplished, and plenty of teamwork opportunities. It’s a lot of selfless acts and attention to detail in the service. With massage, you have to value your craft, be intentional with your word and actions, and always go the extra mile. I’m grateful to show up for my clients each and every day.

Katy
I would also say that your tidying is spectacular…military clean. I don’t know if that’s always been a part of you. Were you always so tidy?

Andrew
My father was, therefore my brothers and I were. He was a former Army officer, and everything was done with attention to detail. 

Katy
Oh, got it. So you grew up that way?

Andrew
Oh, yeah. Had to clean things with a toothbrush and everything. 

Katy
How did the military shape how you think about health and wellness?

Andrew
Obviously, they value taking good care of yourself. You had to be ready at any given moment. I always tried to show up for myself to the best that I could. Being human, we all ebb and flow and have our moments where sometimes we’re just on it, and other times struggling. 

The military definitely laid a baseline for me early in life. Working out early in the mornings, and there was always a lot of running. So I was definitely a runner back then, but not so much now. I enjoy lifting weights and casual bike rides now. Neighborhood walks and stopping to take the occasional photos. Wellness takes on a different meaning than it did for me even just 15 years ago. Nowadays I value and view myself better; with a strong focus on my mental wellbeing and quality time with strong, supportive people who care about me.

Katy
And when you came out of the military, remind me how you got interested in massage school.

Andrew
I was actually in the middle of my contract with the Army National Guard when I ended up jumping into the massage field. I signed up for the service when I was 18, and a freshman at the UW. When I got into massage school I was about 21 years old. I just decided to step away from college after a few years to pursue a trade school. Lo and behold, here I am.

Katy
Here you are!

Andrew
I felt lost when I was in college in my early years. I worked hard to get into a great institution; parents made it seem like you needed to go to college to get a great job and set yourself up financially. I didn’t know who I was, or what I wanted as a student at the UW. It was nice to step away on my own and intentionally decide to pursue something that felt right. I could help and heal other people, and there’s nothing better than helping your community. So, it’s very rewarding what we do as massage practitioners/therapists. I’ve always been a hands-on type of person, and I enjoy being able to be there for people. That’s just who I am, naturally. So, being able to just show up and help people every day, it’s a nice little cherry on top of this thing we call life. I’m grateful for what I get to do.

Katy
That’s really cool. Was there anything about massage school that totally surprised you?

Andrew
Not necessarily. There were a lot of people that were wired like me, very hands-on and natural healers. A thirst for healing and treating people. I enjoyed my graduating class; all very heartfelt, and good people. It opened my eyes up to the variety of other people out there because there are some really cool people in the healing arts, man. I was having a good time just getting to meet, learn, and grow with some of those people. I still chit-chat with some of them today.

Katy
What do you love the most about the clients that you work with?

Andrew
It’s kind of similar, but the variety. We’re all so different, but in so many ways, we’re all so similar. That’s what’s really fun. You get to meet people where they’re at. I like when people are truly raw, authentic, and kind. It’s just getting to be real with people, that’s a pleasure. Seattle’s demographic has changed so much, even in the short 11 years I’ve been in practice. It’s great to get to meet people not just from other parts of the U.S., but the world.

We have to create such a space of warmth, safety, and security. I love being able to foster that for people. It helps people relax more, and it really brings out some positive and great conversations. Touch is really powerful, and I don’t ever take that for granted what I can provide. I wake up many mornings and remind myself I’m grateful for what I do. To be able to make physical, mental, and emotional impacts on those in the community is truly a gift I get every day.

Katy
So cool. That’s great. How do you generally feel in your body?

Andrew
Hmmm, I’m working on being more present with myself. I have a tendency to not really sit with my thoughts enough, and I definitely am not the best at addressing my own personal needs. If I’m being honest, right now I struggle with my own self-confidence issues and making myself a priority. I’ve stepped away from really focusing on what I need, and putting in that hard shadow work. I’m a work in progress, but like many of us out there, some days I’m on, and some days I can feel a bit off.

Katy
What does it feel like when you’re “off?”

Andrew
Your heart and mind aren’t really talking to each other. I realize that I don’t take enough time to just sit with myself, as much as I should. To meditate and think through, “how am I feeling in my body?” Just being more present, practicing mindfulness, and really asking, “Why is my body saying this to me?” I know what I need to do. I just need to be kinder to myself on this journey I’m on in my own life.

Katy
What are the things that you tend to do for yourself when you think of it?

Andrew
I used to be really good about getting massages almost weekly. Now I try to maintain my body’s needs with at least one massage a month.  At home, I try to be really good about doing some PT exercises I was prescribed for a chronic ailment I’ve been having. Sometimes showing up for myself is just going for a walk, taking photos, hopping on the bike, visiting friends, playing with my nieces, or spending time with my partner. I want to start getting into yoga, and in the new year, I want to try some pilates classes. I do enjoy getting on the floor and stretching. Foam roller is a great tool for many soft tissue injuries, that and my trusty lacrosse ball.

Katy
And you have your massage gun.

Andrew
I do, yeah, the percussion tool. I definitely rock that thing. Sometimes, if I have some free time between clients, it’s nice to just stretch. I’m always stretching out my forearms and hands as they take the brunt of what we do, as you know. I try to do some hydrotherapy, so I’ll do hot-cold therapies at home. Just some things to try and keep everything fine-tuned so I’m capable of showing up at my best.

Katy
How does your vegan lifestyle play into your wellness or your sense of wellness?

Andrew
Since I made that decision a little over two years ago, I definitely feel amazing about my decision. It was a change brought on thanks to my partner who’s been vegan for many many years now. Like many of us, I was raised to consume animals growing up. Not making the ethical connection to what was on my plate. I always said I loved animals as a kid, and yet here I was eating them. I watched a really hard, yet impactful documentary on YouTube called “Dominion.” After watching that, that was it. I had transitioned from what was already a consistent plant-based diet, to being fully vegan. There’s no greater joy than acknowledging our furry friends and allowing them the opportunity to live full lives. I’m no greater than them, and I will continue to be a voice for the voiceless. 

Katy
How does that play into your sense of wellness?

Andrew
To me, it’s more of an ethical thing. Especially now that I know those choices that I was making. When you make a decision to go vegan, it’s a selfless act. It’s more of just respecting animals. I grew up loving animals and wanting to be a Veterinarian, and then making the decision to pursue other avenues in college, and then, of course, the military, and now massage, but I always had a love for animals. Just makes me feel good trying to be more ethically-minded towards them. 

So, I wouldn’t necessarily chalk it up to like a “wellness thing.” It’s just another way of eating and being. I don’t eat really any different than what I was eating before, except I’m a little bit more mindful about what I put in my body. Now I’ve just gotten used to living the lifestyle. When you meet other people that have chosen to be kind to animals, it’s pretty awesome, because you kind of feel like you’re part of this niche club, in a way. We live in a very agricultural, animal meat-hungry society which isn’t gonna change anytime soon. So I know I’m kind of an outlier to the norm. I hope as time passes, more people understand the impact of their choices when they decide to eat animal flesh. They are beautiful, and they think, feel, and love just like you or I.

Katy
Switching lanes, how does it feel to be a practitioner of color, and how does that play out in the massage world? As a practitioner, and then also with clients?

Andrew
At my last job, they researched the numbers on who decides to go to schools, such as physical therapy school or massage school, and other healthcare areas. BIPOC numbers are way down.

Katy
For BIPOC practitioners?

Andrew
Yes, for many reasons that I won’t get into today, but it’s very much because of things such as, redlining, white privilege, and many of our social justice issues that have plagued this country for way too long. 

My being a therapist of color hasn’t changed the way I go about what I do, or how others have interacted with me. I grew up half black/half white, and am used to just seeing me, the man. I’m not defined by my skin color, but I do recognize my own privileges I’ve had that many others have not had. I made a decision to be here, but I’m grateful that I had the institutions around, and the fortitude to network with those that I admired. I do represent a small percentage of BIPOC practitioners in the Seattle area, and I will continue to be a great, professional example for others.

I honestly didn’t really think too much of my being a mixed-race man going into this field. I am who I am, and will deliver my talents to anyone that seeks them. There’s still plenty more I’ve got to learn about the BIPOC community out there. I don’t care what your designation is, or what color you are, as long as you’re a good person. Sometimes you don’t vibe with everybody. I’m to the point now in my life where I know that that’s okay. I’m not supposed to please everybody.

Katy
Right. Has that stretched your boundaries of your sense of inclusivity, about working with other types of people?

Andrew
Sure. Seattle is a progressive area with many people with unique backgrounds. I’ve always been really grateful for being here. Definitely this last year, it’s opened my eyes a great deal about my own privileges, and opportunities. In my time here in Seattle you’re going to see some people of color, but not many that have been forced out by racial gentrification. Seattle is quite expensive, and unfortunately not affordable for many, many, many people out there. I do wish in time we see more diversity in this city and absolutely more affordable housing that insists on having more families of the BIPOC community. I’d love for the opportunity to work with more and more people from diverse, ethnic backgrounds.

Katy
Well, and I know it’s hard for BIPOC folks to find practitioners of color. Or people who really understand their bodies or their social situations or role and place in society, or that feeling of somebody really “getting them.” Do you feel like that plays into your work? I guess you’re mostly working with white people.

Andrew
I try not to overthink it. I mean, it’d be nice to be able to reach out to everybody, but we can only do so much. I think it’s great that we’re at least a business open to anybody and everybody. A safe space for anyone. That’s the beautiful thing about massage and what I bring. A human touch that comes from a place of understanding and a willingness to learn more from each and every individual. There’s a broader question of, how would we be able to reach out and get to some of these groups. 

Katy
Well, it sounds like it’s also not as much of a priority for you to find practitioners for yourself of color, or is that something that you think about?

Andrew
At the end of the day, all I care about is are you good at what you do? You know? Are you a good person? Do you treat me with respect? I’m not trying to go out of my way necessarily to seek other professionals of color, except my barber in South Seattle. I do enjoy networking with other BIPOC professionals, of course, and welcome that. I don’t fall into the category where I only want to see such-and-such people. I know some people feel that way, or subconsciously make those choices, but that’s just not who I am. Based on just where we live, again, if you’re going to seek any sort of practitioner, more than likely, they’re probably going to be white, and I’m okay with that. I understand where I live. I’m also just like many other people and seek out businesses around me out of convenience. During 2020, definitely more people were better about wanting to go support Black businesses, and that was awesome. But like with many things, it was just the trendy thing to do, be, and support. I’m sure people are back to their usual ways by now, unfortunately. 

Katy
Totally. Gosh, there are these moments in time, right, where things kind of open up and awareness expands, hopefully. And there’s always expansion and contraction.

Andrew
Yeah, I’m anxious to see things moving forward. But we, as a society, we’re so quick to just keep going back to what we’re used to and what we’re comfortable with. It’s just human nature. It’s what makes us feel safe.

Katy
Well, as practitioners, too, and as this business, we have the opportunity to keep that awareness there, staying open, and really welcoming people, and focusing on how to welcome a more diverse massage crowd. And also just how to reach more people that maybe don’t have the opportunity. So that’s a fun conversation to talk about, together.

Andrew
It’s great. I think it’s wonderful to be able to reach out to any and all kinds of people. I’m a big believer, obviously, in what we do and what we can provide. Everybody needs a massage regimen, and I love that we have not just the talent, but the skills to give to our great community. I’m very happy to be associated with Rise Up Therapeutic Massage. 

On Gratitude & Being Yourself

ON GRATITUDE & BEING YOURSELF 

In this time of the year close to Halloween and Day of the Dead, it is said that the veil is thin. The boundary between the living and the dead is blurred. Our own family takes this time each year to honor my son’s father and our ancestors, telling stories and bringing our own remembering rituals into this sacred time. Since he has been on my mind and since we are also approaching this season of gratitude, I would love to share this story I wrote about Felipe last year. I hope you enjoy! 

Felipe

A story of gratitude and being yourself

This year on Thanksgiving, I was remembering my late husband, Felipe, and how as a family, we got really into the art of blessing our food. Taking a moment to be present and reflect on our gratitudes before our meals. It felt really spacious and lovely. We’d take our time, sometimes sitting with a group of friends, everyone slowly soaking up the silence and depth of the moment in communion, thinking of all the people who brought the food to our table and how grateful we felt for such richness in our lives.

So Felipe was known for often being the weirdest guy in the room, delightfully so. He truly didn’t care what anyone else thought about him, in all the best ways. He’d take this depth of our blessings everywhere he went, taking long silent pauses in restaurants or anywhere he ate, just eyes closed, going deep into his still moment of gratitude. It was always a beat too long for me–slightly uncomfortable–but where I might feel self-conscious, I could take his lead and just try to go inside for that pause.

Many years ago at my cousin’s wedding, I remember a huge group of my mostly Catholic extended family all sat down with full plates, in all of our fancy clothes and excitement ready to dig in. Felipe offered that we do a small prayer and everyone seemed delighted for the reminder of that ritual. I’m sure everyone was expecting a short and formal, tidy Catholic prayer and then to move along with the meal.

But Felipe had everyone hold hands, close their eyes and he guided us into a meandering blessing touching on the blessings of our family and the gathering, the wedding, the food, and then all of the things that helped to bring the food to our table, nature, the weather, farmworkers, life.  I looked up to see my family starting to squirm after the first twenty seconds and continued to delight in how uncomfortable things got deep into minutes one and two. I met my brothers snickering eyes and saw people looking at each other, shifting in their chairs like schoolchildren. They couldn’t escape this blessing, it was surrender to it or wait it out. This was a glorious Felipe moment, totally unphasable as he did his Felipe thing right there.

He finished the blessing, opened his eyes just totally zen and full of gratitude as my family gathered their wits about them and everyone dug in. I’m SURE totally tuned in to this moment in a different way.

So just be weird and be so you, right?! Say the blessing or don’t but I love that we have these moments to connect with ourselves and what’s important to us. These are the things we remember about life, the deep stuff, the touching stuff, the funny times we tried and flopped or triumphed but were just totally ourselves. We have to try, we have to step up and dig in. And these are the moments that people remember about us after we’re gone.

❤️

How to love your body when you feel like shit

a-walk-through-the-woods-benjamin-bergh-photography-580x390There is a patience required for healing and injury that is often so underestimated. I see it time and time again in the work that I do with my clients. You get injured, you have pain, something needs some healing attention. There might be a specific injury or illness, a diagnosis and a plan for recovery. There might be a timeline that a doctor has given you. There’s shock, frustration, hope and then just waiting. Waiting and recovering and healing and doing the slow, inner work that your body needs to heal. This can feel super shitty and boring sometimes! Where’s the drama and endorphins and sweaty adventures?

My take on it is: YES gather all the information you can, talk to a diverse range of healers, doctors, get on a plan for recovery. Your body physically, mechanically needs a host of support for healing from all angles and you can appreciate the support from experts. Do the program. Rest, ice, recover, strengthen, lengthen, whatever the plan is. Create habits around your healing and rest in that structure of: DO THIS (if there is such a structure).

Then you go inward. Notice your expectations and frustrations. Notice where you’re feeling let down by your body, by anyone on your health-care team, by yourself. Are you pissed that you’re not feeling well? That you’re not recovering as fast as you’d like? Are you frustrated that you can’t do this or that? Anything there? Feel what you’re feeling. Let yourself process the emotions around these things.

Next,  in this range of feelings around injury and recovery, notice if you’re able to be really gentle with yourself and your body. Are you being kind to yourself? Isn’t it amazing how our bodies just heal? It’s not always as outwardly stunning as an animal that can regrow a limb but our bodies are frigging amazing at healing! The thing is it’s so internal sometimes, so subtle, so mysterious to us looking in from the outside. What if you were able to have infinitely more patience for this deep process? Is there a way to set aside timelines that require you to be READY to go or back to “business as usual” by this date or that? What if your body is just totally on time with where it’s at? What if there is some crazy reason you’ve been nudged to slow down a little? Do you have room for these possibilities?

Instead of EXPECTING immediate optimal health and being pain-free and good to go, try to cultivate so much gratitude for the optimal health that you do have in all of these other areas that COULD be so messed up but aren’t. Remember how awesomely you DO support your healing already.  Your body is thanking you everyday for the extra rest, the extra water, the nutrition, the exercises, the TLC of any kind you’re throwing it’s way. Your body is kicking ass in healing right now, constantly. Be so, so sweet to yourself and remember to be so, so patient and loving. Your body will reward you so!

Springtime renewal

spring grassIts springtime and a lot of people are getting the urges for springtime cleanses. The ritual of starting anew in the spring is an age-old tradition and there’s no better way than listening to the seasons to synch up with natural cycles of life. What does a springtime cleanse mean to you? For some it can be dietary focused with the intention of flushing out toxins from deep within the tissues and allowing the body to release and renew. For others it might be de-cluttering the home (my favorite!) where you can really be mindful of what you actually use and need in your life vs. what is simply taking up space. What physical things in your space fuel you with inspiration and pleasure vs. what things are distracting and cause you stress? Let those things go to make room in your life for growth and renewal. This is similar to how massage goers can view regular massage on a cellular level. Flush out the unneeded energy and waste stored deep in your tissues and let new healing circulation flow through.

My new springtime renewal ritual focuses on my self-care and is a chance for me to reinvigorate my “feel my best” routine. It starts with being mindful of the things that are most important to me to feeling my most healthy and energetic self every day. I choose a few things that I know are awesome things to do for myself and I allow those things back into my life with ease and enthusiasm. A few of the things I’m choosing this season are: drinking more water, stretching for five minutes before bed or in the morning, eating until I feel almost satisfied (not full), and enjoying a little more sleep.

Ahhhhh! If that’s how you feel after reading your own ideas, then you’re on the right track. The key is to allow yourself to be perfectly imperfect. Make some room for that sunshine!

How do you react to stress?

I remember going to the doctor years ago with a barrage of symptoms ranging from skin conditions to some painful gastro-intestinal upset, surprised at how my typically awesome immune system seemed to have taken a vacation. I felt helpless and confused. My doctor asked if I thought my body had been under much stress lately and I said that no, not at all I felt happy, like everything was going according to plan besides my health. After assessing my situation she looked at me bewildered and with her head cocked sideways she asked, “So, you don’t think that living and travelling in a foreign country, going through a break up and then relocating to a new city, new job and having financial strain is considered stressful for your body? ” In that stage of my life, the choices that I saw as part of living the essential adventures of my life weren’t connected in my brain to the stresses that were being placed on my body and my ability to stay healthy. My body was screaming at me “ENOUGH!” and I really didn’t get it until that awareness presented itself to me in illnesses galore.

This is not a lesson to be learned and to be done with. Our bodies are constantly changing, adapting and finding new levels of homeostatic balance at each new stage in our lives. With each choice that we make that concern our daily schedule, food, sleep, activities, exercise, movement patterns like sitting at a desk or driving, we’re asking our body to automatically adjust all systems to accommodate. Not to mention our powerful mental world where our stress response is activated by financial worries, doing enough, rushing, driving in traffic and waiting in lines. The following article highlights how stress can affect us in subtle and not so subtle ways:

http://www.helpguide.org/mental/stress_signs.htm

My best lesson recently was to realize that in extra busy times in my life, even when I feel like I’m “on top of things”, there are really subtle yet specific symptoms that will alert me to my stress before I may even be consciously aware of it. My stress red flags are: knotted up stomach, difficulty sleeping distracted, inability to focus, really falling off of my self-care (diet and exercise) routine (which is doubly counter-productive as these are the things that can keep stress under control). I’ll say things like, “I don’t have time for the gym. I’m too busy!” If you can learn to catch yourself with early warning signs, you may be able to stop stress in your life before it becomes illness.

Here are some articles that highlight common warning signs:

http://www.buzzle.com/articles/stress-health-effects-body.html

http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/stress-symptoms/SR00008_D

So, what do you do when you realize you’re stressed out? We all need some tools in our toolbox to pull out when times are tough. Today we are barraged with information about stress relief and the point is: find something that you can and will actually do that will have some effect for the positive. It doesn’t have to be fancy, can be big or small, could take just a minute or it could be a long-term commitment to change. Often times if we can find just some space to put things in perspective, clarity will have its own neutralizing effect on some of the stress. Some small things to try to see if they fit your world:

Easy stretching, taking some deep breaths, journaling, taking a walk, talking with a friend, reading, watching a fun movie, turning off the phone, being in nature, meditating or just becoming more mindful of the moment, cleaning the kitchen, taking a nap, having a laugh attack,  being silly, playing with a pet, doing any kind of art, music or creating.

For larger stress issues in your life and chronic stress, it can be helpful to seek the professional and understanding ears of a therapist to help you navigate your best path to wellness. Other paths to wellness to try, with the recommendation of your doctor if you are seriously ill, are: regular exercise, commitment to a consistent food path that is in align with your health goals (more fruits and veggies!), self-care that includes:  relaxation, massage, hydrotherapy (sauna, steam rooms, swimming) and meditation, drinking plenty of water, and finding playfulness in your life that fuels your sense of worth and joy.

Here is a really cool NPR interview recording about stress:

http://www.npr.org/player/v2/mediaPlayer.html?action=1&t=1&islist=false&id=3911637&m=3911638

A more scientific look at your body’s reaction to stress and your immune system:

http://immunedisorders.homestead.com/stress.html

Why not?! Adventures In Self Care

Boot camp. Week 5. Every day at 6:05 I am jolted into the reality of what the morning has in store for me and I head to the MKG gym for my morning fix of butt whuppin’ (me getting whupped). I enrolled in a 10 week, mixed martial arts, cardio and strength training course  and I’m in the thick of it. I felt like it was just really time for a taste of being in shape again, some consistency, follow through and hopefully results. The gym had become my nemesis. I loathed the stair master and any other machine that promised a sweat. I couldn’t do it anymore! Enter boot camp.

It’s been a long 5 weeks of pretty intense workouts that have engrained in me a sweet,  renewed sense of my body’s intrinsic strength. I feel great, actually. I have more energy (besides the less sleep thing), my body is changing slowly but surely for the better. I can see my arm muscles again, my pants fit a little nicer. The massive changes that I hoped to see immediately have still eluded me and I mark this as another reason to keep up. Before, I would get really gung- ho about the gym, only to find my enthusiasm wane at around two weeks. When I didn’t see an immediate six- pack of abs, I’d just loose motivation, realizing that the idea is to look long term, rather than a quick fix. Quite honestly, I’m a quick fix girl at heart.

We did a fitness test at the beginning of the boot camp and again last week. Every day in class, I swear I can only do five pushups before my arms give way and refuse to budge. Somehow for the test, by the same miracle that someone can lift a car to save a life,  I was able to do 28 pushups in one minute (Are you kidding me? I’ve told everyone who will listen).  If these entire ten weeks are dedicated only to eliminating these mind games that hold me back, it will be worth it. I realized that I just had to have someone say, “ I’m timing  you: GO!”  for me to see what I had in me all along. Awesome. Definitely worth it!!

Check ’em: www.mkgseattle.com

We are water.

At a visit with my naturopath recently, this challenge was presented to me: Drink half of your body weight in ounces of water each day. She had said this looking deep into my eyes, sensing that I’m  was an expert water drinker just needing a goal.  As if it will happen because now I know. The truth is that I do have strategies for getting some fluids in but sometimes water just falls right off my radar and I fall short on consistency and volume.  I mean we are talking about some serious water drinking!

It’s really unclear in the field of hydration expertise how much water you should drink, with much debate around the topic, but it’s clear that proper fluid balance in your body is imperative to supporting every system in your body. See the following links for more information about how water works in your body. Think: motivation & visualization while drinking your water. There are also risks to drinking too much water that everyone should be aware of and the actual amount of water that each individual needs to drink does depend on their own body.

http://www.mangosteen-natural-remedies.com/benefits-of-drinking-water.html#Functions

http://www.health-benefit-of-water.com/benefit-of-drinking-water.html

Here’s a list of sweet tricks I’ve compiled from clients, athletes and friends that can help you stay on the water wagon. Get creative with it and add to the list!

  1. Drink water in the morning first thing.
  2. Try adding mint leaves, limes, or oranges to your water.
  3. Get a big drink container that you love and know how many refills till you meet your quota for the day.
  4. Try drinking water at each transition in your day- on your way to somewhere, sitting down to an activity, driving home, etc.
  5. Take drinks each hour on the hour during your workday.
  6. Drink with a straw or mix up how you’re drinking.
  7. Drink water in social situations (you’ll be surprised at how quickly it’ll go down and keep you from other non-water temptations).
  8. Combine habits: Drink water while you’re filling the bathtub, working out, as you sit down to read, on a walk, watching a movie.
  9. When you drink your water, think: “MmmmMm, water!” Imagine the water doing wonderous things inside  of you.
  10. Appreciate how blessed you are to have an abundant supply of clean drinking water available to you on a consistent basis. Give thanks to each sip!

i love water i love water i love water i love water i love water i love water